3 Signs That You Care Too Much

“If you stop caring, you’re jaded, but if you care too much, it’ll ruin you.”  

Criminal Minds

Okay, I get it. We’re human beings, it’s in our nature to willingly spread the gift of compassion to our fellow man.

We have, floating within our DNA the ability to provide care to the world around us, to give love, and dedicate our time to the things and people that matter most to us.

And yes, this all sounds great in theory until you’ve reached your breaking-point.

In other words, when you’ve given far too much of yourself to a person, group, cause, or insecurity, it’s time to grow a pair (I recommend reinforced stainless-steel) and stop being a human doormat!

And so today, we will be looking at 3 signs that will confirm whether or not you care way too much for your own good. But before we jump right into it…

(If you’re new to Introverted-Insight, it’s really awesome to have you here. And if you’re a returning reader, welcome back Insighter! I’m always grateful to have you in my Little Space To Be Creative.)

(By all means, enjoy today’s post and feel free to browse the site for more great content, including short-stories and musical commentary.)

Get ready, because by the end of this article you’ll have a whole new outlook on the construct of caring.

#1. Your Needs Are Never A Priority

When was the last time you did something for yourself? And I’m not talking about doing the day-to-day bare minimum to survive here.

I’m referring to the last time you put yourself, your ambitions, your project, or your goals first? Seriously, take a moment and think about it.

Chances are, if you’re experiencing difficulty pin-pointing an exact moment in time, you’re probably too much of a caring individual.

And what I’ve learned from personal experiences is that there’s nothing opportunists love more than a person who doesn’t know how to make themselves a priority.

Such monopolizing people will suck your energy through a straw and leave you to fry in the heat like a grape, until you’re nothing more than a raisin in the sun.

(Langston Hughes reference by the way.)

And these types of people can be anyone: a colleague, classmate, coworker, “friend”, even your own relatives.  But who can blame them?

I’ve realized for quite sometime that only what you allow will continue to happen and that you must decide when it’s time to take a stand for yourself.

Trust me, I know this trope all too well. It starts off with you just trying to seem friendly, lending out a hand in something that seems minor. Then that one act of kindness turns into several favors.

And then mitosis takes place, and here you are up to your neck helping everyone else but yourself.

But hold on, the funny part is that when you finally begin/decide to place your work at the forefront, no one is itching to lend a helping-hand.

Hell, they may spice it up a notch and accuse you of being selfish, inconsiderate, or “fake”. But I assure you dear Insighter, that’s bullshit.

You have every right to make your personal goals your main priority. Because at the end of the day, you have to be your own superhero – everyone is too busy trying to save themselves.

And sometimes, it’s nothing personal. It’s just the way life is. So, please vow to me to keep your needs at the top of your list and work fervently toward them.

Work as if what you’re doing matters, because it does. It’s just as important as the next guys’ project.

Start believing that you’re worth your own efforts.

#2. You Always Ask for An Opinion

Having trouble picking out the right outfit? Indifferent about wanting to experiment with a new look? Can’t decide what’s going to be your next move until you’ve sought council?

If any of these questions are ringing a bell for you, then you may be someone that cares a tad too much.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for opinions or seeking sound advice before making a very important decision.

(Especially if it’s something that can shift the landscape of your entire life.)

However, not every trivial thing in your life needs a second opinion. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut and outweigh the pros and cons on your own. And by doing so, you show your ability to properly function as an individual.

Also, if you’re someone who finds yourself in constant fear of other people’s opinions (especially if these people are not close to you), then you’re in serious need of a pair.

(Once again, I recommend reinforced stainless-steel.)

Otherwise, if you continue down this path of becoming upset or riled-up over the opinions of others, you’ll find yourself miserable, drained, and depressed trying to satisfy this image of what they think your life should be.

And that is not the way to go. Remember, your genuine happiness should always come first.

Because whether you like it or not, the sad, undeniable truth is that no matter what you choose to do, someone will always have something negative to say about you.

That’s just how it is. So, I urge you to get into the habit of thinking for yourself, being fond of your decisions, and then standing by them.

You’re the only one that’s going to have to deal with you each and every day, you may as well be happy doing so.

Love you and find confidence in the brilliance of your own mind.

#3. You Attract The Needy

Okay, this sign can be considered the resulting factor of the first 2 signs. As long as you’re identified as someone who ALWAYS puts others before yourself.

And as long as you’re labelled as a non-independent thinker and care giver, you will always attract the needy.

Now, not always will these people be toxic and manipulative in nature. Some of them may very well just need some help.

Nonetheless, there are those that will latch onto you because they think of you as an enabler – someone who can get them to where they need to be and put up with all of their hogwash while doing so.

These people do not want to change their ways or become better human beings. They don’t care. In actuality, all they want is for someone to condone their piss-poor behavior and immature mentality. A donkey to ride, if you will.

Trust me, I’ve been there. People like this are relentless; they ease their way into your life, taking up some of your time then, begin draining you completely every chance they get. It’s annoying, frustrating, and something you don’t have to put up with.

So please, for the love of all that is pure, use discernment the next time you choose to lend a helping-hand. Not everyone who asks for help deserves your time and care.

And you’re not a villain if you decide to turn them down. You’re human. Remember, you have complete control over “The Power of NO”. (Read more about that here.)

Final Thoughts

Insighters, there’s nothing wrong with making an effort to sustain, empower, and improve the things and people around you.

Yet, it’s when your efforts begin triggering suffering of the mind and body that you need to take action. Care a little less.

If you feel your caring virtue is being taken for granted or even exploited, try putting your needs first, thinking for yourself more often, standing by your decisions, being more cautious with who and what you put your energy into and yes, growing a pair.

Reinforced.

Stainless.

Steel.

You deserve to unapologetically live your best life (just don’t be an asshole to others while doing so).

Seriously, stop caring so much and start doing more; you’ll be happy you did.

As always, take care of yourselves. Put your health and needs first. And continue to be your best, unapologetic self. Love you guys!

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