Nodding understandingly, I told him I’d follow his lead and do my best to match his pace. We begin walking purposefully; after the first lamp pole, it was on!

EARLIER…

Anyone that knows me knows that fitness isn’t exactly my forte. I’ve been the same tree branch ever since birth and have grown comfortable with my body. This sense of comfort took years to surmount though.

Years of emotional pain, teasing, body-shaming, and insecurity. And during this period of “getting settled in my skin”, I tried several exercise regimes that were a tad too extreme for my liking.

There was the gym phase during middle school and the early part of high school. Me and my best friend Mia would go on the weekends and enter the new school week feeling even more physically drained than usual.

Since then, I’ve never really had a liking for gym life. I personally find the ambiance of the gym drenched in hyper-competitiveness. You walk in and see (for the most part) individuals with model-like bodies: toned legs, rippling muscles, grenade-launcher arms, and an actual chest! (Something I can’t relate to.)

And soon enough you find yourself comparing them to you, and you kinda lose motivation. (And then you up the speed on the treadmill they’re using so they fall down! Kidding. That’s just cruel.) Other than my unsettling gym experiences, there was swimming during college. And boy oh boy, do I regret it. 

During my final semester at the ‘University of The Bahamas’ , I decided to challenge myself. (Okay the truth is, the Nutrition class I wanted to take clashed with Physics II, and I needed a Physical or Health class to graduate.)

This experience is truly a story within itself. But to summarize, let’s just say I would’ve aced the class if grading was based on how well you sunk and how much chlorine water you consumed during each class. Eeek. 

However, fast forward to about 3 weeks ago, I actually stumbled upon a fitness activity that I liked.

I recall it as if it were…..well, 3 weeks ago.

The post I’ve been slaving over my laptop for the past 2 hours was nearly complete. But something just felt off about it. Was it too long, too short, was it up to my usual standards, did I make enough bad puns?

At this point I feel myself mentally spiraling, centrifuged by a mix of conflicting emotions. I was in need of some escape. Suddenly, there’s a knock at my bedroom door and to my delight, it’s my big brother.

He had just returned home and wanted to ensure that I was still alive. (Adorbs, I know.) But what I found interesting was his get-up. He adorned black sweats, an equally black tank top, and off-white running shoes.

With my head now angling acutely I questioned, “Where you going ALLLL FRESH UP!?”

He replies steadily “Going jogging on the highway.” Mind you, this isn’t the first time he’s done this. I was just taken aback since it had been a while. And as he spoke he had this inner-determination that resonated with me.

Soaking up his response like a dish sponge, I reflect momentarily on my current mood and the mortifying fear of my metabolism becoming slowed with age.

So I decided to take a chance, “I’m coming with you.”

A little stunned by my newfound interest, my brother takes a moment to reply “Okay, next 10 minutes. Just letting my headphones charge up some.”

Enthused by this spontaneous decision, I grab the only pair of sweat pants I own, (which were first my brother’s, but it was too small) some tennis shoes that were also his, my headphones, and we were ready to go.

Now on foot, we find ourselves travelling along the path of my brother’s prescribed “shortcut” to the highway. The walk itself was around 8-10 minutes. But I didn’t mind, I was getting in some cardio (Lol, I think that’s the correct term).

And I got to spend time with my favorite sibling (by default).

With SuperWash now in view, I knew the highway was just a few more footsteps ahead. My brother tooked the liberty of explaining the route to me in detail: how long it was and where our stopping point was located.

Nodding understandingly, I told him I’d follow his lead and do my best to match his pace. We begin walking purposefully; after the first lamp pole, it was on!

The sun was beginning to call it quits as the evening air filled my body with a cleansing mist. I connect my headphones to my phone, allowing the shuffle gods to choose songs from one of my favorite music playlists.

As we neared the first lamp pole, I feel my heart accelerating with excitement. I was on the brink of something new! The music comes in on cue. Pulsing beats and catchy lyrics fueled my body in an unimaginable way.

I start to feel this immediate sense of release. (Or was that just sweat particles lining my eyebrows? Most likely both.) Nonetheless, I no longer felt conflicted or internally tense. It was as if some liberating aura had enveloped my body, numbing me to everything that once troubled me. The feeling was therapeutic. 

Going at my own pace, not being confined by a space filled with heavy equipment, no comparisons, NO SWIMMING! Just my legs, giving my mind the break it so desperately needed.

I take a breath at the stopping point – the traffic light. My dance music still playing heavily in my head. We take a 3 minute break before heading back. And although I’m feeling slightly lightheaded, I wasn’t about to quit and leave this jog incomplete.

After some more stretches and heavy breaths, my brother gave me the nod and we made our dash back down the highway. Resolute, I turn my headphone’s volume to the max and followed suit.

Having already gotten a taste for this drug, I knew I was already hooked. And there was no way I was about to come down from this high. This was the start of something beautiful.

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