Hey there Insighters! I really hope everyone is in he best mood possible, given the current state of the world. Truly in times likes these every droplet of light, and every showing of the sun can be considered a gift. And we honestly can use all the gifts we can get in 2020. It’s been rough.

That said, I’ve to confess a few things. I haven’t been the best mentally the past few days. I felt drained and rather “meh” about life. At first, I thought I was just tired. And I was, which resulted in sporadic social media breaks, nocturnal slumbers, and hours of intermittent fasting.

However, I soon realized why I felt so disconsolate. This year, mid-July marks 10 years since my mom passed away. An entire decade. So in the very same breath of sadness, I felt the need for self-reflection.

I’d ponder on who I’d become, how relationship dynamics have changed, and of course, how much I missed her. And it was painful, very existential, but necessary. I came out of this self-created, mental sarcophagus where hope and sun go to die, a lot stronger.

On top of my personal, mental conquests, there’s been a lot of unnecessary drama at home. Too many pointed fingers. So many lies. Several underhanded ruses. And I am honestly disgusted and unwelcoming to it all.

So, with all that being the case, I decided to release today’s poem from my book. It perfectly encapsulates what I’ve been feeling lately. Nostalgia, the burning of life, self-reflection, the sun, and feeling the pangs of growing up.

Without further ado Insighters, here’s “Sun Bleached” from my debut poetry book ‘My So-Called Quarantine’. Now available for sale in the Introverted-Shop and on Amazon!

“Sun Bleached”

Sun bleached hair

On days like this I just want to be done
Sun-bleached like SpongeBob in Bikini Bottom sun
Burning in my reality
Another mental fatality
Sick and tired of humanity
Tug-o’-war with my sanity
Yet the sun still shines, fluorescently the same
Radiating trauma while I absorb the pain

When I was small, I would frolic freely in its rays
Skin luxuriating in warmth that somehow always stayed
I used the outdoors to escape animosity
But sometimes I wonder, what did it really cost me?
Not knowing how to deal with what’s hindering inside
Makes it harder to function and easier to hide

And as I stay in my daybed, getting cozy in the shade
Even more harmful thoughts begin to invade
There’s no room for joy, hope, or parade
I’m muted, leaving others to play a game of charades

Nowadays, the sun just seems to burn me
Its scorching flames waste no time to unnerve me
It brittles my skin
Sucking moisture within
Until I’m left arid, cracking, and desperately dry
Dehydrating me to the point where I can’t even cry

When the hell did I become so sun-bleached?
Has my tolerance for life finally peaked?
When I was younger, I was on such a living streak
But now, I just sulk at least 3 times per week

Plus my patience for today is beginning to fry
Only thing left is for my feelings to dry
Wither, rotten, lose coloration
Soaking up cancer and vile radiation
As my body goes numb without hesitation
I am left to bake in my own ruination

But on days like this, it’s better to be done
Enjoying life by floating in magic bubbles of fun
To a temporary place, where I’d never have to run
Sun-bleached like SpongeBob in Bikini Bottom sun

‘My So-Called Quarantine’ is now available for purchase! (Links down below).

Introverted-Shop: (Digital Ebook)

Amazon: (Digital Ebook & Physical Paperback)

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